What should I do to get a Spanking?


BDSM photograph

Spanking (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While it’s best to be open and honest about your desires, some folks have difficulty finding the right words. So, if you don’t want to ask your partner straight out for a spanking, you can try being ‘naughty’ and then suggesting that you deserve one.

However, if your partner isn’t already a dominant who is used to spanking the ones s/he loves, you’ll most likely be on the receiving end of a mild, almost playful spanking, and not the stining swats you desire. That means that sooner or later you’ll have to find the words, and talk to your partner about your desires.

In many ways, it’s easier to receive the spanking than it is to be the one spanking. When you’re on the receiving end, you don’t have to worry about hurting your partner, and if you’re playing nicely, you’ve established a safe word in advance. So quite often, by being the bottom, you’re really the one in control.

But that’s not always the case – especially when both you and your partner are new to the play; asking for a spanking from an unskilled partner comes with it’s own dangers.

The most important thing to be careful of is pressuring your partner into something s’he’s not ready for. Unless your partner somehow knows your spanking limits in advance, it’s likely that s/he doesn’t know what you want. This can be hard on the both of you, causing you physical pain, and your partner mental anguish.

Patience is the best counsel. Your partner can’t read your mind, and s/he won’t know what kind of pleasure you can receive with the pain of a spanking. Also remember that your partner doesn’t feel the spanking that you’re receiving, so keep your partner informed about what it is you like.

As your partner learns your levels of enjoyment, give him or her time to get used to each new plateau of spanking your bottom. Don’t try to push your partner too fast into whipping your ass; your sudden rush for pain could frighten your partner.

Do your best to react to each pleasurable spanking in a way that demonstrates to your partner how much you enjoy the paddling you just got. That helps your partner learn about what makes you happy, and also rewards the spanker by letting him or her know that aren’t really hurt. That can get the both of your over any case of nerves!

It’s also a good way to help your partner get turned on by spanking you.

The most important thing to remember is that you have to be confident. Don’t be afraid to guide your partner: “That was good. But this time spank me a little a bit harder.” Communication is important in any kind of relationship. But it is especially important in a relationship that includes spanking.


More Books and Stories by Alice Dark

6 responses to “What should I do to get a Spanking?

  1. How we got started is, after he went to bed, I left a note with his morning stuff where he was sure to see it. See? There’s hope even for the terminally shy.

  2. How we got started is, after he went to bed one night, I left a note with his morning stuff where he’d be sure to see it, saying we ought to play naughty schoolgirl. See? There’s hope for even the terminally shy, so no excuses. Go ask for what you want and need.

  3. Our fun just sort of developed over a period of time. Started with teasing smacks, followed by “ooh I like that”, followed by more smacks (less teasing, more deliberate), followed by “Oh Yes! Harder, harder!” (LOL).
    Actually went to a Spanking Class at “Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium” here in London a few weeks ago. It was a lot of fun and I came away with my first Cane and Paddle (much to Hubby’s delight!).
    So, start slow . . . and the pace will (probably) quicken naturally!!

  4. Babe, that is so wonderful! I like that feeding your desires grew naturally in your relationship. And a class? *wow* Dedication. I feel a story in this. I’m thinking you should write it! I know I’d love to read it.

  5. Well, I think if a woman asks me for a spanking and she is my babe, I would demand her to tell me that in the most sexy manner. Then I would belt her or something. There is only one way to spank a good butt….. hard and hearty. No taps. But thats just me!

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