Spanking: Tips, Positions and Toys

Guest Article by Karina Hester
a naughty author, who definitely enjoys a good spanking!

We talk a lot about spanking at Licks & Lashes … obviously. It’s hot, it’s riveting, it’s a little bad while being a whole lot of good, but the truth is there is a difference between just reading about it and executing it. If you’re going to begin spanking, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that you and your partner enjoy yourselves and stay safe. Use some of these stories to get inspired and then mix them up with these tips, positions and toys. Then let the wailing commence.

Safety First:

Above all else, you need to always make sure that you and your partner are safe during a spanking session.

Be sure to set up a safe word so that the spankee can let the spanker know when they are approaching their limit. It’s important to set these words up prior to exploration and to take them seriously.

Secondly, be sure to to aim directly for the butt cheeks–especially if you’re a beginner. Aiming too high will land the strike on the tailbone. Aiming too low can end up on the backs of their thighs, which are far less cushioned then their butt checks.

Start lightly with your spanking, as it takes the skin and body a little time to warm up to the initial blows. Our tolerance for pain also increases as our sexual desire increases, so give her time to build or get turned on prior to taking the hand.

Move your spanking around. While you have to be careful with your aim, spanking different parts of the butt cheeks will help distribute the sting a little more and activate different parts of the spankee’s body.
Positional Therapy:

There are a million positions any couple can assume for spanking, but the most beneficial ones will be the ones where the spanker is in a complete position of power and mobility. Start with one of these four and then explore on your own to find what works for you.

Over the Lap:

This is the most traditional position for spanking. Simply have the spankee bend over the spanker’s lap.

Hands and knees:

This is the most childlike and a little more degrading than the lap position. Have the spankee get down on all of their hands and knees as if it to make a table top with their body.

Over furniture:

Use furniture in the same manner that you would use a lap. Have the spankee bend over the back of a couch, over the arm of a chair or on top of the bed.

Standing hand to ankle:

This songs like some yoga pose, but its merely a variation on doggy style. Have the spankee bend over and grab their ankles.
Spanking Assistance:


Your hand is going to be the best toy to start off with. It allows the spanker to really feel how hard they are hitting the spankee. It’s a good way to gauge control, speed and force. Begin here and change it up with a spank and then a soft caress.


If you’re looking to move beyond the digits, a paddle can be a fun way to induce a little more pain that’s evenly distributed across a bigger surface area. Paddles can be lined in fabric, done up in leather and even plastic. If you’re looking for the less intense, go for the fabric-lined options.


Whips are definitely going to be a step up from the paddle and the hand, depending on what kind you get. Places like Adam and Eve will typically sell a variety from playful to the big time. If you’re looking for something a little more playful, opt for one of the fabric or plastic ones. If you’re looking for pain, go for the leather selections.


A crop will provide the most targeted amount of pain. Crops are short flexible whips that typically have a small piece of fabric, leather or steel on the end that you can use to target specific areas on the body. This will definitely be one of the most painful options.

Now get out there and get to spanking!

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